You’ve connected with that special someone online. You’ve met your date in-person and they are as good as it gets; you’ve hit the jackpot – ding ding ding! You’re attracted to them like no other and the chemistry is on point. You’ve been dating for a good while and it just feels good to be with each other—there’s a sense of excitement. You’ve found the one! Wait a second…before you jump the gun and profess your unwavering love and affection to your beautiful mate, take a second to think. Is love really the main character of this harlequin romance or are you just head over heels in lust? How do you decipher if the relationship you’ve got is built on love or lust? I’ll get to the heart of the matter—read on!
While love and lust are inextricably linked, they sizably differ. Lust is a primal urge, and in the moment, it is the only thing that matters. Sometimes our better judgment goes out the window. Lust is built on the feeling of wanting, right here, right now. It is driven by hormones, generated by increased testosterone levels, and it appeases our sex drive. Love, on the other hand, is a powerful and transcendental human emotion that is genuine. Love is not about the moment, but involves seeing yourself in it for the long run. Love involves a constellation of emotions and experiences and it is unlimited and unselfish. Oftentimes, lust is the precursor to romantic love, but if all you’ve got is lust, then a meaningful relationship can only prosper for so long.
Lust Bust – How to know if it’s LUST
·You are focused on their looks or their body (physical attributes)
·You are interested in having sex, not conversation
·You leave after sex, with no desire to cuddle
·You are only attracted to different parts of them, not the whole package
·You would rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level rather than discuss emotions
·You are lovers, not friends
·You are interested in what the relationship or person can give to you
·You feel satisfied but “something” is missing
Love Bug – How to know if it’s LOVE
·You have great chemistry
·You have conversation that is effortless and smooth
·You want to spend quality time with each other and include them in all your plans
·You see a future together
·You listen to each other’s feelings
·You introduce them to your family and friends
·You don’t expect anything in return and desire the best for them
·You feel motivated to be a better person
While lust is self-serving, love is effortful and involves self-sacrifice. Depending on what you want out of a relationship, who’s to say that one is better than the other. For advocates of love, I’ll leave you with this William Shakespeare quote: "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind. " I’ve got a Woody Allen quote for you too, lust seekers: “Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”
While love and lust are inextricably linked, they sizably differ. Lust is a primal urge, and in the moment, it is the only thing that matters. Sometimes our better judgment goes out the window. Lust is built on the feeling of wanting, right here, right now. It is driven by hormones, generated by increased testosterone levels, and it appeases our sex drive. Love, on the other hand, is a powerful and transcendental human emotion that is genuine. Love is not about the moment, but involves seeing yourself in it for the long run. Love involves a constellation of emotions and experiences and it is unlimited and unselfish. Oftentimes, lust is the precursor to romantic love, but if all you’ve got is lust, then a meaningful relationship can only prosper for so long.
Lust Bust – How to know if it’s LUST
·You are focused on their looks or their body (physical attributes)
·You are interested in having sex, not conversation
·You leave after sex, with no desire to cuddle
·You are only attracted to different parts of them, not the whole package
·You would rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level rather than discuss emotions
·You are lovers, not friends
·You are interested in what the relationship or person can give to you
·You feel satisfied but “something” is missing
Love Bug – How to know if it’s LOVE
·You have great chemistry
·You have conversation that is effortless and smooth
·You want to spend quality time with each other and include them in all your plans
·You see a future together
·You listen to each other’s feelings
·You introduce them to your family and friends
·You don’t expect anything in return and desire the best for them
·You feel motivated to be a better person
While lust is self-serving, love is effortful and involves self-sacrifice. Depending on what you want out of a relationship, who’s to say that one is better than the other. For advocates of love, I’ll leave you with this William Shakespeare quote: "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind. " I’ve got a Woody Allen quote for you too, lust seekers: “Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”