On your quest to find love, you’ve probably seen your fair share of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Don’t let an immaculate relationship turn Dirty Harry. I don’t know about you, but I’m looking for the kind of love that will go ahead, make my day. When you find that, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky (in love)? Well, do ya, punk?
As tacky as these Clint Eastwood allusions may sound, believe it or not, they hold substance when it comes to dating and understanding relationships. Allow me to break it down.
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Whether you’re a serial monogamist or a dabbling dater, I bet you can share a story or two on the ups and downs of relationships. You experience the “good,” in the beginning phases of a relationship, also known as the honeymoon stage. Romance is in the air, ooh là là. We see our significant other as being perfect and their small flaws are forgiven. It’s puppy love—how can that face of theirs do any wrong?
Then time passes. These flaws become more and more evident. There’s trouble in paradise after all and the “bad” starts settling in. We’re experiencing the power struggle stage. This can go one of two ways: it can turn “ugly,” as your relationship goes awry and bitterly ends; or if the relationship is worth the fight and getting through the issues, it can progress into a conscious relationship, in which compromises are made and the “real” person your mate is, is accepted and appreciated.
Dirty Harry
Harry Callahan is a character who doesn’t play by the rules but somehow always gets results. While there are guidelines and suggestions to keep us on track in the ever-so-confusing world of dating, there really aren’t any formalized rules that make the experience fool-proof. For example, guys have always been taught to never call the girl after the first date. Why not call when you want to call while the excitement is still fresh?
Or remember being cautioned to not make ourselves too available? If you’re into someone and they appear to be into you, then why play games? If you’re available and want to see them, make the time or start planning the date. Yes, it’s in your best interest to follow the dating dos and don’ts but it’s silly to constantly go off of rules (or rather, myths). The bottom line is that when it comes to dating and building stronger relationship results, sometimes you have to take a risk and go against the supposed dating norms.
Go Ahead, Make My Day
Why do we seek relationships? One simple and powerful reason is because it makes us happy. When we fall in love, endorphins are released in our brains and we feel excited at the thought of spending time with that special someone. After all, we want to find someone that will make our day, every day!
You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?
When it comes to being successful when dating, it’s not about having luck. Throughout the years, I went through a string of bad relationships and I thought, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all!” Instead of blaming your relationship woes on the luck of the draw, create your own relationship luck. If you notice a trend in the types of guys you date, but none of the relationships worked out in the past, then maybe it’s time to ditch your purported ideal archetype and rethink what you consider to be your type. Don’t define finding your soul mate (if you believe in the term) as being lucky. You will find them not by merely sitting and waiting around, but by taking actions into your own hands. When it comes to meaningful relationships, fate is building a bridge of chance for the one you love, even if you haven’t yet met that person. It starts with putting yourself out there.
As the young, working professional that you are, I bet you’d never think in a million years that you would be learning about dating from Eastwood movie titles and quotes. Well, let me tell you – there is a lot to be learned from your elders and the longest-running movie star can inadvertently help you attain that long running relationship!