Dating can evoke a myriad of emotions. It can be fun and it can be disheartening. Hopefully it’s the former rather than the latter! But as many of us have learned (the hard way of course), sometimes dating and maintaining relationships can be difficult. One way to be successful in love is to hold accurate views on dating. Often times, we fall into dating traps where we do things such as discount people we could potentially have a meaningful relationships with or stay with a person for all the wrong reasons. There are too many dating urban legends out there – don’t believe the hype! Even the savviest daters can follow dating fallacies. But now they don’t have to. Dispelling myths and being knowledgeable about truths can help you approach relationships realistically. Read on as I debunk popular dating misconceptions and get the skinny on the cold, hard truth.
Myth: When you meet “the one,” you’ll know
You’ve heard happy couples describing their initial meetings with each other as love at first sight, a la Romeo and Juliet. Or maybe you’ve heard people madly in love excitedly recall the moment they met their soulmate. You know you’ve met “the one” because when you look in their eyes, you can see eternity.
Reality Check: It isn’t always like the movies! Knowing that someone is right for you isn’t always instantaneous. Sometimes it takes a while to know that the person you’re dating is right for you. Relationships take continual effort and it’ll often take more than one date to know whether it will work out. Love takes time. Honestly, if you’re waiting for that special moment to know you’re in love, then you could be waiting for a very long time! By believing that we’ll experience some sort of magical connection, our expectations are raised to unrealistic levels and we may end up passing up on the love of our life, just because we didn’t share that initial connection.
Myth: You'll find the man/woman of your dreams when you least expect it.
We’ve heard it all before. This common myth is always used as a form of advice given to someone experiencing relationship blues. Maybe you’ve said it to a friend experiencing a relationship dry spell or maybe they’ve said it to you when you were moping around and eating ice cream over that no-good-man you used to date. Regardless, this myth provides hope that love is out there and that when we’re no longer looking for it, poof, it appears!
Reality Check: Finding Mr./Mrs. Right isn’t that easy. Like anything else meaningful and worthwhile in life, putting in work is required. Love doesn’t come when you least expect it – it doesn’t just fall from the sky or appear at your doorstep (although that would be nice)! The truth is, you have to make yourself available and really put yourself out there. Open yourself up to dating again and widen the opportunity for the man/woman of your dreams to find you!
Myth: Love conquers all.
When you’re in love, anything can be worked out.
Reality Check: When you finally meet that person who you fall head over heels in love with, you can get caught up in the excitement and fail to realize that there are major differences in lifestyle, conflicting views, or barriers that have to be dealt with. When you have your love goggles on, sometimes you forget to see the whole big picture. Maybe she wants to have a kid someday, while he doesn’t. Or maybe he wants to go out and party all the time, while she’s a homebody. Or perhaps she wants to be a career woman, while he wants her to stay home and be a homemaker. No matter how much you care for each other, there are some things that cannot be compromised. If you can’t deal with your differences, then your relationship becomes imbalanced, and in turn, more likely to topple over and come crashing down. Love conquers all is a great theory on paper, but in reality, sometimes the logical head reigns supreme over the emotional heart.
As your official dating mythbuster, stay tuned as I drop more knowledge on you next week and demystify more dating myths!
Myth: When you meet “the one,” you’ll know
You’ve heard happy couples describing their initial meetings with each other as love at first sight, a la Romeo and Juliet. Or maybe you’ve heard people madly in love excitedly recall the moment they met their soulmate. You know you’ve met “the one” because when you look in their eyes, you can see eternity.
Reality Check: It isn’t always like the movies! Knowing that someone is right for you isn’t always instantaneous. Sometimes it takes a while to know that the person you’re dating is right for you. Relationships take continual effort and it’ll often take more than one date to know whether it will work out. Love takes time. Honestly, if you’re waiting for that special moment to know you’re in love, then you could be waiting for a very long time! By believing that we’ll experience some sort of magical connection, our expectations are raised to unrealistic levels and we may end up passing up on the love of our life, just because we didn’t share that initial connection.
Myth: You'll find the man/woman of your dreams when you least expect it.
We’ve heard it all before. This common myth is always used as a form of advice given to someone experiencing relationship blues. Maybe you’ve said it to a friend experiencing a relationship dry spell or maybe they’ve said it to you when you were moping around and eating ice cream over that no-good-man you used to date. Regardless, this myth provides hope that love is out there and that when we’re no longer looking for it, poof, it appears!
Reality Check: Finding Mr./Mrs. Right isn’t that easy. Like anything else meaningful and worthwhile in life, putting in work is required. Love doesn’t come when you least expect it – it doesn’t just fall from the sky or appear at your doorstep (although that would be nice)! The truth is, you have to make yourself available and really put yourself out there. Open yourself up to dating again and widen the opportunity for the man/woman of your dreams to find you!
Myth: Love conquers all.
When you’re in love, anything can be worked out.
Reality Check: When you finally meet that person who you fall head over heels in love with, you can get caught up in the excitement and fail to realize that there are major differences in lifestyle, conflicting views, or barriers that have to be dealt with. When you have your love goggles on, sometimes you forget to see the whole big picture. Maybe she wants to have a kid someday, while he doesn’t. Or maybe he wants to go out and party all the time, while she’s a homebody. Or perhaps she wants to be a career woman, while he wants her to stay home and be a homemaker. No matter how much you care for each other, there are some things that cannot be compromised. If you can’t deal with your differences, then your relationship becomes imbalanced, and in turn, more likely to topple over and come crashing down. Love conquers all is a great theory on paper, but in reality, sometimes the logical head reigns supreme over the emotional heart.
As your official dating mythbuster, stay tuned as I drop more knowledge on you next week and demystify more dating myths!